Sunday, March 16, 2008

What I decided

After all the great comments and tips on this subject with Stefan here is what I decided to do. 

I know teens and I know that if you try to FORCE them to do something they will be sure to do the opposite. After watching that show on 20/20 last night it got me scared for Stefan.  It's just too easy to get a rap now a days for dating a younger girl.  SO I decided to call her mother and have a talk with her.  Explain to her the situation here and ask her how she plans on dealing with it there.  I would like to try something other then whats happening right now.  I know she probably thinks that this is the end of it.  But I know better.  I'm thinking maybe if we talk...hopefully she will talk and not try yelling her way through...that together we can come with a solution.  I'm hopeful that maybe we will come to a conclusion on this whole thing.  I would just tell Stefan to stop seeing her but I know that is not the way to deal with it.  They will still sneak around in school and see each other anyhow.  I mean Mels parents took her phone away so she could not text Stefan and she borrowed her friends phone for the night.  She is going to find a way to talk to him.  Kids are not dumb!  SOOO wish me luck...I'm hoping Mel still has her phone so I can ask her for her mom's number.  Seeing the legal consent age here in WI is 18 we may have a prob on our hands and I hope it doesn't turn out badly!!!  I know Stefan has a good head on his shoulders and he swears to me that sex is not what he is looking for in Mel.  He enjoys being around her...she is funny and she is very smart.  She is in all AP classes.  Stefan has always searched out smart girls.  He says the ones who get bad grades usually smoke,drink and do drugs. huh I would have never even thought of that. He says he sees it all the time in school.  And he says he's planning on waiting until he's married to have sex.  I hope that is the truth. I would be SO proud of him. 

OK on to todays happenings...tonight at 5:30 we have a wrestling meeting at the school. It's their end of year meeting where they get their T-shirts for going to state and all that good stuff! I have to bring a dessert to share.  Not sure what that will be yet.  Then we will come home and watch "Nancy Drew" we picked it up yesterday.  I have a movie review I will add later when I add the Nancy Drew one. 

Nic is totally hooked on the computer!  He is his fathers son and his brothers brother!  Thats all I have to say.  He is hooked on Nickjr.com and the games they have on their and he is GOOD at them!  He's a natural when it comes to working the computer.  He's only 3 but he has it all under control.  lol  Ok this brings me to another problem we have had with Nic.  He gets to playing and he doesn't want to go poop so he will start to go in his pants and when that happens he will finally run to the potty.  Well I got real tired of this REAL quick!  I stopped it once with sticker rewards...that got old and he started it again.  NOW I told him that every time he went poop in the potty AND there was not poop in his underwear he would get 15 min of computer time.  OH BOY has this worked!!! LOL not an accident since!  He knows he has to go he is just being to lazy!  I hope this continues to work ;)  Ok folks I better get to dishes and making bread.  Talk to you all later! 

OH by the way..Stefan has tried talking with her mom and dad but they don't want anything to do with it.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I agree that kids will do what they can when they are in "Love" like, etc. So I think meeting with them etc is a very good idea.

Sounds like your little Nic is definitely into computers and that will be a good thing to make sure he does what he is supposed to or no computer time. :) Faith loves Barbie.com and she has an epet.

Love ya
Kallie

Anonymous said...

That is awful they will not talk to Stefan, they are making a mistake.  I think your right, now you have to protect Stefan from her parents.  You might even have to talk to the girl to tell her what could happen to him if she continues to disobey her parents and they hurt Stefan through her.  

My sister was like this other mother, yelling, screaming at her son NOT the girl.  The girl was obsessed with my nephew text messaging all the time from a computer fast.  

debbie

Anonymous said...

what a smart idea about Nic and the potty....he sure is a smart boy! I think the mom will end up listening to you if she loves her daughter.....once upon a time i was 17 and in love with a Catholic boy and we got caught having sex and well, i could write a book. His priest tried to keep us apart and we STILL saw each other every day and we were at seperate high schools and lived 10 miles apart!!
GOOD luck.
hugs, lisa

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you're being smart. You gotta do all you can but it ultimately has to be their decision. Stefan sounds like a smart kid! :)  Hope my Bekah hooks up with someone like him! :)

Janis

Anonymous said...

Man IF they don't wanna talk to Stefan they may not want to have anything to do with you either. Some people are just that way unfortanately. They judge before they even know you. And yes that girl is gonna talk to him however she has to. My friends daughter is doing the same thing right now with a boy they can't stand, but he's no Stefan he's a bad seed so they are founded in all their reasons for not wanting him around. Good thinking on the computer rewards for Nic. Kyan still has NO interest in the potty, but I'm not worry just yet. My son was 3.5 when he was finally potty trained completely. Wish I could get some of your homemade bread. You're making me want some. I think I'm gonna pull out my ice cream machine and get some made..Kyan has never had fresh ice cream.
Take care, Chrissie
http://journals.aol.com/nay0114/almost-paradise-ii/

Anonymous said...

Hope the chat with Mel's mum worked out.  Like you said they are teenagers and if you try to stop them doing something they are only gonna turn round and do the exact opposite!!  Glad you found a plan to work with Nic too.....better to nip that in the bud before it got worse ;-)

jenny

http://journals.aol.co.uk/Jmoqueen/MyLife

Anonymous said...

My husband and I started dating when I was 14 (2 weeks shy of 15) and he was 16 (a few months shy of 17).  He went to my church and our parents knew each other.. my dad even taught his parents in high school when he first started teaching.  Anyway, in the eyes of a teenager there was nothing wrong with us dating at that age.. but in the eyes of a parent (it's amazing the things that become clearer as soon as you give birth.. lol) it wasn't the best choice.  Though we both knew better and wanted to wait until marriage, we ended up having sex WAY too young.  I always said I was going to wait and up until maybe a few weeks before "the deed" still felt that way.  After our parents found out about our "extra curricular" activities they separated us for almost a year.  Or so they thought.  We still found ways to sneak around and see each other.  We were in love no matter if it was young, stupid love.. it was still love.  There is a fine line between being too forceful and not being forceful enough.  And even now I don't know exactly where that line is drawn.  I hope though for you and your son's sakes that yall are able to figure something out with her parents.  Because the more anyone tries to keep them apart the more they will try to be together.  And that is when things can become dangerous and trust can and will be lost.

Anonymous said...

Well hello there.....I have just scanned your notes but will take more time another place...I am spending so much time on the C I think my hubby feels like a widower although he is watching golf so that keeps him happy.
You are the same age as my youngest although married young like myself as her boys are 2 4 and little on to be born in July,
I would be honoured to visit with you and because I am old enough to be your mother would also be willing to counsel you if ever you WANTED to ask anything...not that I know it all but we can learn from other's errors and believe me I have had many in 43 years of marriage.

I hope you and yours have a blessed Easter weekend.   We will head down to the youngest in Calgary after church on Sunday and stay at our favourite (not mispelled just the English way ha ha) Super 8 that has a pool and hot tub and help our girl as she is starting to get a bit awkward.
So glad you came by.

Blessings,

Lori   aka AB Ice Queen   Ice Queen   Chef Ice Queen

http://journals.aol.co.uk/abicequeen/lori's-letter-box