My daughters car is sitting in the driveway because she doesn't have gas money. We are not giving her money anymore for things like that...so she had to either have someone come get her or stay here with is. Well, she wasn't planning on staying here with us so she called around and found someone to come get her. I often wonder where we went wrong with her. I believe it was giving her more freedom then she was able to handle. We spoiled her way to much and now were paying for it. She never really had a lot of discipline in her life. I know after taking the couple classes I did take for that sort of thing in college that we should have said NO more often then we did. I knew that but why didn't I do it?? I don't know! I sure wish I would have now. Now when she doesn't get her way she freaks out and gets so depressed she can't even be around herself let alone someone else. Her boyfriend broke up with her because he said she was to controlling. Well, that IS her personality BUT it wasn't only HER fault... my thoughts on dating (if your serious) is you have to make a commitment to the other person. You don't have that freedom to just leave for a weekend and not say where your going. Am I wrong on thinking that way?? I mean he was going here and going there and because she was asking him where he was going she is called controlling?? I'm a little angry with him for acting like he had been and to tell you the truth I'm happy he let her go. If he had no intention to stay with her...let her go find someone who does want her. She knew this guy from 1st grade and he begged her so many times to go out with him. She told him no again and again...finally she thought she would give him a shot and she fell for him. NOW he goes and dumps her? You would have thought he would have seen how "controlling" she was BEFORE he dated her since he has known her for HOW MANY years?! Yes, my daughter tells it like it is, yes, she is controlling, yes, she has a big mouth...umm she did not change for him so I don't understand why he thought he still wanted her. Now the guy is telling this other girl in myspace (he KNOWS my daughter reads his myspace) that he loves her and that he wants her to have his children, that she is the most beautiful thing *cough, she SURE isn't* he has ever seen...bla bla... it's killing my daughter to read those things and Its all a huge game for him. She still has to live with this guy because she has no where else to go. WELL, she can come back home but she would rather not. This girl, by the way egged my daughters car when she used to date this guy.
Ok SO when my daughter was stuck here over night cuz of the huge snow storm we had she was talking on the phone. I heard her say to someone " Pat (her X) wanted me to let him know what was going on" WHAT? He's an idiot why give him the satisfaction of letting him know where you are? He didn't do it for you. So I tell her...WHY are you letting pat know where you are? She says...well, I AM still friend with him mom! OK whatever!! GRRR
Sorry I went into a rant again but I always feel better after getting that all out! Sometimes she is so strong and then there are times like that when I see how weak she is when it comes to men or boys whatever you want to call him. Do you guys think she should be letting him know where she is or what she is doing? Maybe I'm old school? I don't know.
SO anyway, I am still downloading video and I have to put some together and all that AND I'm going to take some pics of our newest snow storm when I get my butt going here. We have to run into town to get more flour so we can make more bread. So I will try to get the video up tonight sometime. Take care everyone and thanks for reading ;)
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12 comments:
No, if he doesn't tell her where he is going then he certainly doesn't have the right to keep tabs on her. Helen
LOL I'm laughing at the flour because I was seriously thinking the other day WHY do I buy store bread when it's like $3.00 a loaf. I told my daughter I think I'm going back to baking it myself. Had to laugh that you said that at the end.
OH MY GOSH... now I know why we get along so well. I think it's the age. I could ring my son and daughter's necks sometimes. Yes, I believe we are old school because I wouldn't be telling anybody a damn thing. Kait does the same thing with Anthony when he NEVER tells her where he is.
Don't blame you on the gas. My son is sitting here with a perfectly good car that he tore up been sitting here in the driveway for four months now waiting on him to get a new job and fix it. I guess he thought we were gonna do it for him. When he has a job he wastes every bit of the money he makes. It should have been going into that car all along instead he run the wheels in the ground. So there it sits. He claims he is gonna use his tax refund to fix it.. so we'll see, but I'm not offering money because I'll never be paid back. Not that I worry about that, but I want him to worry about how it's gonna get fixed. I stopped giving gas money out a LONG time ago unless I borrowed the car then I put back what I used no more.
Take care, Chrissie
The first thing you might consider doing (I speak from experience, believe me) is stop blaming yourself in any form or fashion. That will just give her the excuse to use you as an excuse for her behavior. (One can't live behind "it was the way I was raised." There comes a time in every one's life that we have to accept responsibility for all that we do.) I'm not saying that's what your daughter is doing, I'm just saying don't give them any ideas!
The boyfriend? Sounds like he's a cheat, and he used any excuse he could to "dump" her without having to take the blame for himself, that he found someone else he'd rather be with. You may as well hold your tongue and let her work her way through this unless she asks for your advice, because she's gonna do what she wants to do. (again, I speak from the voice of experience!) Good luck with all this. It does pass, and the sun shines again. It will also be a growing experience for her. Stick to your guns. How's that for me getting all up in your business? Hope I didn't offend.
~Meg
My mom used to tell me you made you bed now you have to lie in it. I didn't always make the best decisions. Heck, Jason and I dated for nine months in high school and he dumped me for one of my best friends. My mom couldn't understand why I stayed friends with both of them. She didn't like jason at all. Look at us now, we've been married 12 and a half years. She's still young and life has a harsh way of teaching you the lessons that you need to learn. I think you've done a good job and by not giving her what she wants now is a good thing. Making her come and clean her grandmother's house is a good thing. She has to learn there are consequences to her actions even if she doesn't like them. What is she going to do when there is no one around to pick up the pieces and it's just her? It will happen one day. She needs to learn how to handle all the bad as well as the good. It'll be a good thing for her to do. Hard for you as a parent to watch but good in the long run. Hang in there.
Man it hurts when they act that way doesn't it? I made the error of saying to Steph what are you doing and where did you learn this from. And she said me. LOL Except that I gave her the excuse she was looking for and she used it and then one day I said STOP! You are an adult and I did not ever show you that it was ok for you to treat me this way and better yet I never put up w/ any guys shit! She still tries sometimes but gets her nowhere. Carrie you did a great job w/ your kids and so did I. Were we perfect. Heck no but we did the best that we could. No parent is perfect and we have taught them right from wrong and kids these days really think that they are always right... They do learn but sometimes they have to take the hard way to learning.
Lots of Love
Kallie
I'm afraid my Nicci is going to be the same way. Hope you have a good night.
Missie
My girls are so emotional, they are so different from boys! My husband and I worked together on our kids...he would do anything for the girls....I just adore my boy....I keep a close eye on the girls and he keeps a close eye on our son.
When I say no to the girls he really tries hard to back me up!
And when our son needs that tough talk I don't look him in the eyes because my will power is so low with him! HaHa
Now our grandson is a whole other subject!! He has his Papa and Nina wrapped around his tiny 3 y.o. finger.
Oh, btw...go check my older blog entries for my tiles on my counter tops, they are cheap black and white 49 cent from Home Depot. LOL I like to play with different crafts.
debbie
Hi Carrie,
I'm sorry you are having trouble with your daughter. I'm always saying to Marv that our kids these days have too much that they don't have to work for. I know when Mandy was a teen, we would go shopping and she'd come home with a new CD, maybe some jewelry or a new outfit, and when she wanted something....we usually gave it to her. I always look back now and think we should have made her work for things like we had to when we were that age. They really don't learn that money doesn't fall from trees, well, now that she is 25 and living on her own she does, but that first year out on her own was a HUGE reality check for her! We never stop worrying about, or being concerned for our children though, and I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.
Pooh Hugs,
Linda
My daughter is the same way! Drives me crazy. I'll send you an email cuz our situation is complicated.
Hugs,
Dana
ugh. i feel you and i'm not even there yet. i'm in the early phases of raising a spoiled one. it's tough. dad always makes it really easy on her to get her way. the other day he took her to get new glasses and took her out to lunch while they waited and then took her to do some shopping...at HotTopic, which is a like a punk/teen clothing store. she's 8. oh, and she was getting new glasses because she broke hers in a tantrum. oh, i was pissed when they came home with arm fulls of shopping bags.
anyhow. i think part of it is learning how to stay strong when you feel weak. i remember those young 'loves' and how it seemed sometimes like i only mattered it i mattered to them. she seems like a good girl, i think she'll come out of this phase on top.
take care~
~Bernadette
oh boy. I bet it is hard to hold your tongue when your daughter starts, huh? It is so hard to raise kids....my son is my beloved cross to bear...he has a good heart but will drive you batty.
HUGS, lisa
I hope I am not doing that to Shelby...sometimes I think I should say no more often. We had a little discussion just last night...me doing most of the talking, about how I could just limit a lot of her internet time..how would she like that...that for her to remember who is MOM.
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