Friday, March 14, 2008

Trouble with love/LONG ENTRY TODAY lots to tell

Well we have a dilemma today.  First I will start with our "normal" talk. lol

We had steak burgers for breakfast today and the guys are late getting out the door as normal lol.  Yesterday was parent teacher conferences and Stefan is doing great. We are proud of him. The sad thing...one of his teachers he had as a young boy is dieing of cancer.  She doesn't have much time left at all.  She is in the hospital and is pain free...she is in a drug induced coma per her husband.  I think it's what I would want too!  Her hubby did a good thing.

We haven't watched any movies for a long time...we have movies waiting for us tho.  Just been watching the regular non cable channels since we don't have cable anymore.  We really don't miss it tho. I never once thought "OH man do I miss cable!" lol  I guess we made the right choice and were saving 70 bucks a month too! :)

I have been pretty inactive with the camera this past week.  I don't know why but I did happen to get this picture while playing fetch with Max...just loved how his lips went over the football all the time lol. 



Ok now on to the "love" problem we are  having:  I need some opinions. 

I told you that Stefan's girlfriends parents did not like Stefan right??  Well,  Mel was texting Stefan when all of a sudden he got a message from her mom from Mels phone...asking him if he knows the laws on dating a younger girl and that she does not want him dating her until they are both of legal age.  Ok for one thing...I think it's VERY unrealistic to keep your kids from dating until they are 18.  It just doesn't happen anymore.  I can sure see 16 yrs old tho!  I didn't allow my daughter to date until she was 16 however I KNOW that she did anyhow behind my back I just could not catch her. She just would not admit to it.  My point...kids are going to do it if you know about it or not...so to keep them "date free" until they turn 18 is just unrealistic.  I have a feeling they will be pushing her away from them if they try to keep her to that. 
ANYWAY...now I will get to my point.  Stefan wants to keep seeing her but I told him IF her parents are not going to allow her to, it's just not a good idea.  I mean her dad can really cause some problems for Stefan if he so chooses and he will be 18 in Sept of this  year.  I told him he needs to be respectful of what her parents decide weather or not we think they are the right choices or not.  Its their child!  I mean, I totally understand because she is only 15 but there is only 2 1/2  years between them so it's really not that bad..it just seems bad because she IS so young.   I don't know..what do you guys thing? She is a freshman and he is a Junior...I think wanting to date a jr in high school is a pretty normal thing for girls. I know when I was a freshman I dated a Senior.
Stefan did ask them if he could ask Mel to the Prom but she never answered him back...I'm guessing that is a no. lol 

What I told Stefan is that they have YEARS to be together...just be "friends" now and give her parents a chance to trust him and see that he's willing to wait (if he is) and if he does i think they would be pretty impressed with him.  Maybe they may change their minds when she is 16 or 17 yrs old.  He's pretty upset because he does like her a lot. She has been crying a lot lately because of all this and it's been bringing her down!  Her mom did say they could be "friends"  so I told Stefan that is a start. Ok so here is my question...If you had a 15 yr old daughter would you let her date a 17  yr old boy?  AND would you make your daughter wait until she is 18 to start dating? 

OK NUF OF THAT!!!  NOW I want to share what went on at the clinic for Stefan's apt.
They decided to do an EEG of the brain first rather then the MRI...the MRI is schedules for this next Tue at 8am.  THEN we still won't know anything until the 31st of March!  That is when his follow up apt is when they sit us down and explain all the findings to us.  So right now we still don't know anything.  It's kind of frustrating now knowing yet...now I have to be worried for weeks yet! 

Ok I think I covered all I wanted to today.  I hope you all have a great day today!!! We will be shopping tomorrow so not sure If I will get online or not.  Were also going to be watching all our movies we got over the weekend.  So I may be quiet till MONDAY!~ 



 

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Morning Carrie--
That is a tough one. As the mother of a young girl I vote for no dating until she is at least 30! :) lol  But I know in reality that probably won't happen. However, I would not allow my daughter under 16 to go out on a "date" with just the boy. I think group dating would be fine (although a lot of it would hinge on the group).  I think the advice you gave to Stephan was wise. If they say no he should back off.
It's hard but smart.

I had a student who was in a smiliar situation. Him and his girl went out behind her parent's back. Her parents found out and since he had just turned 18 they went to the police and charged him. He came close to having to actually registering as a sex offender since she was not quite 16 and he had just turned 18. Lluckily his parents were able to hire a good lawyer and he was saved from that but it has happened before.  

Good luck with those teenage hormones.  :)

Janis

Anonymous said...

Poor Stefan.  As a mom of a teenage girl, that girl's parents are not being realistic.  If they want to be together, they will find a way.  However, when Stefan turns 18, he will have to be careful.  Poor kid!
Missie

Anonymous said...

I can tell you Jimmy would not let Jenna date a 17 year old, he just said last night she is not dating until she at least 20. LOL  Now knowing Stefan as I do I think its fine but the parents don't know stefan so I guess I can see their point. I don't know how I would feel, I will see when that time comes but thats a long time yet.

Anonymous said...

My 17 yr old son was "Dating" a 15 year old.  They could only see each other outside of school at her house, when her parents were home.  I agree with that, and it worked for them.  They just broke up last week.  I think if her parents "Ban" them being together it will only make the situation worse, the kis will sneak around.

Anonymous said...

tonight on 20/20 at 9 here they're doing a story called the 'age of consent' about teens having sex, the different stereotypes against boys and girls, etc.  I've got it set to record.
I think it's normal, and I think that age difference AND the fact that they go to school together makes it even more normal.  Really, do you remember what Freshman boys were like?!  I dated an older guy when i was 14/15 but I do think it was too old, he was out of HS and was 19/20.  That I would be concerned about, 2 high school kids dating, not at all.  And they WILL drive their daughter away acting like that...controlling her.  
I hope all goes well with the testing, waiting is definitely hard..gives you time to go through all the "what ifs" and worries.  I'm hoping for the best results :)
you take care and have a great weekend!
~Bernadette

Anonymous said...

I think you said it yourself that if they want to see each other you have to allow it to happen coz they will go behind your back which is a shame but that's kids for you!!  I feel sorry for Stefan ~ it's typical that her mom's done this now but he should stay friends with her.  

Jenny

http://journals.aol.co.uk/Jmoqueen/MyLife

Anonymous said...

1st I hate waiting! I hope that on the 31st you get news that all is well. You know that every day you and your family are in and will always be in my thoughts and prayers.

2nd... Dating! When Stephanie was 15 and a freshmen she lied and told me that Kuchong was 16 and he was actually 2 months shy of 18. I grew to like him and I did allow the dating as I know my daughter would have gone my back and done it any ways and this way I could control it even though she thought I was. And it is hard on the side of the girl's parent's side as I am a mom of the girl but his parent's didn't like it too much either. But we did allow it. And it was ok, but I think that if it had been a different boy maybe I'd not have allowed it or been even stricter. I think you were wise in what you told him and maybe after they realize what a nice boy Stefan is they will allow more than friendship.

3rd I hope Stefan can handle following your advice and the girl listens to her parents as I'd hate for ugliness to happen. I have seen it happen like that and sometimes girls parents can get crazy and take you and your son to court.

4th I love the pic of your puppy w/ tyhe football. It made me smile. :)

Love ya
Kallie

Anonymous said...

Wow, glad I am passed the dating thing.  I agree with you, about being respectful to her parents.  She is too young to date but how about if he got to know the parents more so they like him.  The more respect he shows the parents the more trust they will have in him.  She could invite him for dinner and games at her house.  We did that with our kids, open house to all their friends until they did something against our rules!  

They could go in their rooms but doors open.  And believe me I had to pee a lot while one of my girls had a guy friend in their bedroom watching movies or play video games because the bathroom is by their rooms!  

Can you have her over for a night of movies with her parents permit?  

They get sneaky when you forbid them to be together.  

debbie

Anonymous said...

I always thought it was fine for the kids to date people that they were in school with which meant a freshman could date a senior. My girls did date seniors when they were freshman.
I think Stefan needs to become friends with the parents IF he truly likes this girl. You're not gonna get anywhere with parents that hate you. And if he continues to see her and go behind their backs they will never like him.
Thats a cute picture of Max. I'm like you I haven't broken out the camera in days. I think it's the weather I'm so sick of indoor pictures.
Do you all still have snow on the ground? I wondered how long it takes for like 22 feet of snow to melt? LOL or how ever big it was.
Take care, Chrissie
http://journals.aol.com/nay0114/almost-paradise-ii/

Anonymous said...

i can understand that the parents feel 15 is too young and maybe they think he is too old for her but i think they are going about it the wrong way. I would let them be friends and go to each others home with supervision before i would break them up because we all know that breaking up two determined teenagers will not work!
Hugs,lisa